Self Reflection: How to be a better version of yourself

The past few years, self care has become a big part of my life. I spent many years pre and post children in various kinds of therapy to deal with my childhood issues, depression and anxiety. I have been on and off medication for the past 17+ years – I’m still taking daily anti-depressants.

I’m an empath, which means I feed off and get affected by other people’s emotions. Having grown up in a predominantly negative environment has had a huge impact on my life and something I am still dealing with, but it’s something I am trying not to inflict on my children. So, that is why I have been focusing on making sure I look after myself.

Let’s face it, as mothers, we are always putting others first and rarely take time for ourselves out of guilt – but we shouldn’t. It’s ok to take time out to focus on yourself. After all, you can’t pour from an empty cup.

BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF

The first step to self-reflection is to be completely honest with yourself about how things are going and how you are behaving. Has there been an instance that you could have handled better? Is there something specific that you need to let go of? What do you love most about yourself right now? What are you afraid of?

NOTICE BEHAVIOUR PATTERNS

The next step is to be aware of your habits. By doing this you can actively weaken the ones you don’t want and strengthen the ones you do. What do you need to stop doing to live a richer and happier life? How do you add value to the world and those around you?

CORE VALUES

Being able to articulate your core values is an important step. Take time to consider what is most important to you so that you can evaluate whether or not you are actually living those values that you believe. What do you need more of in your life? What brings you genuine joy? What is the message that you want to share with the world?

BE FORGIVING

Be forgiving of yourself. We all make mistakes, we’re only human, but don’t punish yourself for past mistakes. Be gentle with yourself when you don’t get it right. Reflect and move on. This can also be useful for those who have hurt you in the past also – remember it is a reflection on them, not you.

KEEP TRACK / JOURNAL

By keeping track/journalling your observations you can monitor your own personal growth. It’s something that should be done regularly and continuously worked on in order to ensure you are where you want and need to be in life. It’s great to be able to look back on and see where you’ve come from – and creates a positive mindset.


It’s such an easy yet effective task to complete, and it really doesn’t have to take you long to do.

It’s an exercise that you can do at your own frequency. It certainly doesn’t have to be every day – I would reserve that for your regular journaling/gratitudes. Instead take some time out once a week, month or even year to really sit down and focus on you and reflect on how you are as a human being and what can you do to improve.