I was brought up in a very negative household and often felt like I didn’t fit in. Along with being bullied throughout most of my school years, it just fuelled the self-hate I had for myself. I started sinking into depression aged 13 and by 17 I was self-harming and had tried to commit suicide.
This cycle continued for many years – even after meeting my husband, getting married, having children etc. I would have good days and bad months.
Then, a couple of years ago I had a breakdown and decided that I had had enough. I was fed up of feeling angry all the time. I was fed up of being that angry and shouty mummy. I was fed up of taking my husband for granted and constantly thinking that he was only with me for the children’s sake.
Change doesn’t happen overnight. It can be a struggle and it has it’s own ups and downs – but you have to be committed to changing for it to really happen.
Once I was in the headspace that I not only wanted to, but I needed to change my mindset – I set about doing what I always do and research.
I love to read, so I read articles and books about changing your mindset. Spending a few minutes a day just reading about mindset and really trying to focus on what the underlying message was.
I downloaded some inspirational quotes. I created a Pinterest board for them, as well as downloading some on to my computer – putting them as my screensaver on both my laptop and my phone. I also printed some of my favourites off and placed them on a pin board in my bedroom so they were the first things I would see when I woke up.
Time for Yourself:
Next up was learning that I needed to take out for myself and that it was ok to do so.
Just 5 minutes a day can really help us to refocus – especially if your day has been particularly stressful. Whether it’s a nice relaxing bubble bath, or just lock yourself in your bedroom, take that small break.
I also started attending meditation classes. This helped with regrounding, shifting my mindset and really focusing on what I wanted out of life. I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life being defined as just ‘mum’. I knew I wanted to make a difference, but I wasn’t sure how. Meditation helped me relax my mind and clear all those thoughts running around it at one hundred miles per hour. It helped me to regain a focus and a purpose.
Journaling is a great tool to help focus the mind. You don’t have to buy an expensive journal, a simple notebook will do, but make sure you take a few minutes at the beginning of the day to write in it. What you write is entirely up to you. It can be goals you want to achieve that day/week/year. Your thoughts, your dreams, your aspirations – literally anything.
Next up, is one that many often dread. Exercise.
You don’t need to spend a lot of money on a gym membership, but by spending just 15 minutes per day doing some form of exercise will help improve your mental health and mindset. Whether you decide to go for a bike ride, a power walk, gentle stroll or even hit the gym and lift some weights (which I prefer to do) – whatever you decide, just get moving.
If you’re like me, you probably find yourself comfort eating, a lot! I used to go all day without eating and then I would binge on the bad foods in the evening. This would leave me feeling sluggish and ill and hardly any energy to do anything. By changing eating habits and making sure you get three meals and two healthy snacks in per day will really help with not only your body health but your mind also.
Share what you want to do with a partner or friend. See if they will be your accountability partner – or perhaps do it with you. Make sure you have someone supporting you along the way. That is really important.
If you don’t have anyone, drop me a line. I will happily be your accountability partner and walk beside you on this new path.